Weeks 1-12

I realize that I have not done the greatest job of consistently posting updates. I also realize that I haven't truly shared all that God has been doing in my life these last 12 weeks. Granted, it's rather difficult to fully explain what I have been going through, but perhaps this list--very condensed--will give a better picture of my discipleship training school experience. From week 1, I kept a piece of paper in my Bible and made notes--just brief phrases--of what God was teaching me. The topic of the week's lectures may or may not correspond with everything God was teaching me that week. It's personal, yes, but all the more real. I don't mind sharing.

Themes from my DTS: Weeks 1-12

Week 1: Orientation and Intro to Trafficking

-Freedom in Christ: leaving my comfort zone behind to run with God

-God brought me to the desert to romance me, as in Hosea

-Brokenness, forgiveness, and healing

-Determining to seek God with my whole heart

Week 2: Hearing God's Voice

-Hearing and then obeying God's voice

-Faith vs doubt struggle

-God breaking me and cleaning out my heart

Week 3: Father Heart of God

-Giving up my pride and own dreams and ideas for my future

-God is not content without us:  we have ravished His heart!

-Frustration in trying to hear more from God

-Realization of my dependence on other's approval

Week 4: Forgiveness and Repentance

-Forgiving people in my life and making amends

-God showing Himself as my Deliver

-I am set apart, a special treasure with a holy calling from God

Week 5: Identity

-Resurrection of dreams and birth of new ideas for my future!

Week 6: Holy Spirit

-Bolding speaking truth: making the comfortable uncomfortable

-Desiring the gifts of wisdom and discernment

Week 7: Intimacy to Advocacy

-Desiring more joy in my life

-Refusal to be fearful regarding my future

-Love for the johns

Week 8: Bible Study

-God's greatness and unsearchable knowledge: He is a God of wonders!

-Learning to just be still with God, listening and learning rather than planning and doing: Being a Mary, not a Martha!

Week 9: Missions

-Refusing to plan and remaining open to whatever God wants to impress upon me

-Taking every thought captive!

Week 10: Sex and Relationships

-Reflections on the past year and the redemption and love received from God in fully returning to Him

-Identifying sources of struggles and insecurities

-Praying and living in greater faith and confidence

Week 11: Discipleship

-Desire to disciple others and share all that I've been learning

-Spirit of thankfulness

-Pure heart

-My identity is not as a sinner but as a pure and beloved daughter of God

Weeks 12:  Evangelism

-Desiring more of God, constantly craving more of Him

-Embracing who I am in my new identity

-Love for God=obedience to God's commands 

So, tomorrow starts the last "normal" week of lectures here: our lecture phase is almost over. On Saturday, we will be leaving for a week-long road trip to various cities in California to promote the Las Vegas YWAM base and to educate churches and universities on human trafficking in the US and in Vegas.  When we come back from CA, we have one more week here in Vegas to wrap up and get ready to leave for outreach. If you do the math correctly, that means we leave for Mumbai, India, three weeks from tomorrow!!!  

She's Somebody's Baby

I have never been called “mommy” by little girls until tonight.

This evening we did door-to-door outreach in groups of four just two blocks from our base, talking with people, asking if they had a church, offering to pray with them, etc.  We spoke with a woman, Daphne, at the very first house we approached and learned that her oldest daughter had run away. She had not heard from her daughter Shaquita since Monday.  Shaquita is only 14 years old, the average age for girls entering prostitution.  It sounds like the classic trafficking scenario.  My heart broke for both Daphne and her daughter. Her mother wanted her back. She was missed.  Shaquita—whether she is by herself or under the control of a boyfriend/pimp-- is somebody’s baby.

A few doors down, we came upon a group of about 10 girls, about 8-10 years old, playing in the driveway, climbing a wall, dancing, and just being crazy like little girls ought to be.  Hope and I began conversation with them and they were eager to make friends with us. They wanted us to watch them rap, dance, do splits, and play with them.  They just wanted attention and love. Hope and I were mobbed by a dozen little bodies all vying for our attention. After knowing them about 60 seconds, they were clinging to us. I don’t mean that they gave us a hug, or were holding our hands. I think they attached themselves with super/non-removable glue.  

“Will you hug me? Will you pick me up?” Will you pick me up and swing me?”

Ok, sure. I can do that. No problem. I love kids and though perhaps it’s not the most appropriate to be picking up an eight year old you just met, I did it anyways, because I could tell they desperately needed love and affection.  As I spun one precious curly-haired girl around and around until she was squealing and I sufficiently dizzy, I said “You are a beautiful girl!”

Her face glowed from that one compliment. Oh, God, please guard her and all the girls in this neighborhood from false love, from older boys and men that may come around to prey on these girls and in just a couple years lure them with false affection resulting in abuse and/or prostituting them. Not to sounds cynical, but that scenario is incredibly likely based on their situation and the statistics.

Then came the hardest request.

“Will you be my mommy? Can you be my sister? Please don’t leave me! I don’t want you to go.”

Oh. My. Word.  I wanted to cry.  They didn’t even wait for us to answer, but clung to us more, tugging on us to play and watch them, calling me their mommy.  More than anything else they could have told me, calling me their mommy revealed how desperate they were for a strong maternal figure. They did have mothers:  Daphne whom we met earlier was the mother of two of the girls, and the rest of the girls pointed out their nearby homes so that we could come back to visit them. 

Leaving them was so difficult. We had to pry them off of us, and tell them that we would come back.  As we left, we asked if they knew who Jesus was.

“You mean Jesus Christ? Oh yeah! He’s my father!”

I told that girl to always remember that no matter what, Jesus is her daddy and always will be. I am so thankful that they at least had some head-knowledge of God, considering that most of them did not have father-figures.  We learned that some of them had been to the church we attend, so leaving was slightly easier knowing that we might see them there. 

Turning around and walking down the sidewalk, hearing little voices pleading, “Please don’t leave! Don’t go! Mommy, come back!” may be one of the most gut-wrenching experiences.  I didn’t want to leave them so soon, but we had a time limit and I told them I would be back. I will indeed be back to visit them. I want to speak truth into them, to give them attention they desperately need, and to just love them. I know that they are in God’s hands and that we should not feel unduly burdened by them.  If I develop a case of the “Messiah Complex,” attempting to take on responsibility that is not mine to hold, I will burn out and I will fail.

These girls were so full of joy and innocence: I want them to stay that way, just as they are. I couldn't help but think of Shaquita, and wonder how many of these girls would find themselves in her situation.   Each of these precious girls is somebody's baby, no matter what path their life takes: homelessness, drugs, prostitution, or perhaps college and marriage. They will always be God's baby girls. 

“She’s somebody’s baby, she’s somebody’s baby girl and she’s somebody’s baby still.”

Faith is spelled r-i-s-k

To recap a little from the week before last...

Very appropriate for a DTS, we focused on missions for a week! My goal was to remain open and impressionable to whatever God wanted to teach me, and teach me He did.

The Great Commission is all about relationships and connecting to people! Missions is not merely a task; if it were, we would be de-valuing people and their worth as individuals with eternity in their hearts.  "The saving of a soul is the making of a person into the fullness of what they're meant to be."  We are not sanctified and set free by hanging out with religious people, but rather we must view the people we are called to minister to as the ones who will bring us closer to God.  We have to remain humble and learn from whomever we are with.

Where are the “hot spots" for missions today? Where should missionaries be going? Cities are the neediest locations today: we need to break the image of a missionary whacking a machete in a jungle. A huge percentage of the world's population lives in the over-populated urban jungle.

Preparation is crucial: burnout is usually accredited to failing to establish boundaries and inadequate preparation for the inevitable sacrifice and cultural immersion.  Identity crises may emerge and can often lead to Christians refusing to break away from their comfortable and protected work within a building, a safe distance from the intimidating culture passing by on the sidewalk. So many missionaries and those in Christian organizations look like clones: they live in the Christian sub-culture and refuse to fully immerse themselves in the people, language and traditions of the city. To break stereotypes we need a spirit of adventure and we have to be ourselves. 

We shouldn't compartmentalize our lives into "normal life" and "ministry." The sacred-secular division needs erased and the two should be blended into one. Every part of our life--whether babysitting or sharing coffee with a new friend-- ought to reflect our mission to love God and love others. The message that we bring is a gospel that affects every area of our life and is full of power!

We ended with a brief run-down of how to start a non-profit, particularly an anti-trafficking organization.  I wish we could have spent more time on that, but I know that more learning opportunities abound.