Girls' home

On Thursday our team led an educational teaching on human trafficking at a girls home for 28 young women.  We spoke to them about value and worth, establishing their identity in God, the fatherheart of God, and I shared practical info on trafficking and how to avoid it. (I love teaching on these topics and wish we had more opportunities to do so!) They invited us to stay for dinner and afterwards we were treated to dance performances by both the girls and (unexpectedly) from several of our team members...quite the treat. We were laughing so hard we were crying and could barely compose ourselves. (Videos will be posted on Facebook at a later date.)

After our time there, I feel even more certain that one day I will work at/run a girls home or restoration home. Many of the girls had backgrounds of abuse and troubled childhoods, but they were some of the most joyful, welcoming girls I have met. Those girls stole my heart. What struck me the most was how their house was such a home. They all regard each other as sisters, and the newly married couple that runs the home as their aunt and uncle. The girls loved to show off their family photo albums and share their memories of growing up together.

Much of our time here thus far has been spent working with street kids: playing soccer, feet washing, feeding them, playing with them, and just loving them. On Tuesday we leave for a village to spend Christmas week with 450 orphans, so we're all going to get a heavy dose of kids that week as well. I love working with kids, and all children need love, a childhood, and home, but I feel a stronger call towards girls that have been hurt/trafficked. Thursday was my favorite experience of this outreach thus far; I felt like I had spent the day in my dream for a home for girls.

I've now been involved with trafficking prevention, intervention, and restoration. After seeing all three aspects, I do feel more of a call towards working in the restoration and healing process. Some of us on this DTS are discovering that trafficking is not quite the direction we intend to pursue afterwards, but some of us are realizing with more certainty each day that human trafficking is our passion.

Kathmandu: streets kids, a proposal, and dance bar

I changed my current city to Kathmandu, Nepal, today on Facebook, so now that it's "Facebook official," it's probably time to provide an update of the last couple days.  First, I have to say that living in the foothills of the Himalayas has its benefits: on a clear day, one can see the mountains from our rooftop, despite living in the heart of the city. The view of the Himalayas flying into Kathmandu was incredible.

Since arriving on Monday, we've settled into our lovely residence and are learning to live on a rationed water supply and deal with the unreliable electricity. We've already dined by candlelight several times: who doesn't love a cozy dinner with candles? Flexibility is key, and I don't think I've ever going to completely master it, but I am trying. I want my family, chocolate brownies, my car, clean air to breathe, and an abundance of hot water, but I know that God loves these teaching opportunities to increase my faith and reliance on Him. This city is growing on me...it may not quite be in my comfort zone but it's amazing how one can adapt to the circumstances.

The last two days we've gone into the streets to do outreach with street kids, mainly boys. I learned my lesson about giving street kids food: after giving chocolate biscuits to one, four more kids mobbed us demanding more cookies, so we had to find a store and buy biscuits for all. When we returned to pass out the cookies we just purchased, some of the boys had been fighting, most likely over the cookies, with a broken glass bottle and one little guy had bloody scratches on his arm. Way to go in causing trouble, Katie. Geez. I felt so bad, but I learned my lesson.

During that same hour, a guy approached me and my friend, offering his services as a tour guide. We declined, but he then launched into beggar-mode, telling us a long-winded story about needing money for his family.  After we told him we were not giving out money, he asked our ages and marital status. Bad decision to answer honestly: he then told me he liked me and asked if I would marry him. I laughed awkwardly and looked at my friend to see if I had heard correctly. I did. I have seen quite a few attractive Nepalese men, but he was not one of them. He promised to buy me beautiful Nepalese clothes and bracelets, but the offer wasn't tempting enough. He then proposed to my friend while several buddies of this hopeful fiance came over to see what was going on. We soon left and hopefully will not run into that same character over the next several weeks. Moral of the story: always respond "yes" when asked if married.

Last night the team went to a dance bar with the purpose to talk to the dancers, the women who work there. (A Nepalese dance bar is essentially the equivalent to a strip club, minus the stripping.) The strategy is to get to know the dancers, hear their stories, and get their contact information so that we can follow-up with them outside the bar at a later date.  I realized that these women, though dressed and dancing far less provocatively than expected, are just as degraded as women who dance almost naked on a pole. The sexual nature of this city is very covert, unlike Las Vegas, but the effects on the women are just as ruinous. Appearances are misleading. What may look relatively innocent is actually devastating. The men when at the dance bar will often get the contact info of these girls and to increase their earnings, the women will prostitute themselves at another location. These women--no, girls, since most of them were teenagers--desperately need the money yet know that what they are doing is shameful. Despite their smile when dancing, they are so hurt and broken. The girl I spoke with last night is only twenty but she has been working at this venue for five years: she began dancing when only fifteen. She is Hindu and didn't believe in prayer, but allowed me to pray for her anyways. After her parents separated she dropped out of school and left her village to work here in Kathmandu and ended up working at this dance bar. She is open to the idea of working elsewhere if she could find a job that pays well, so we were encouraged to know that she is open to leaving. I don't know why I am attracted to these women, but I am. We're going again on Tuesday night to another dance bar, so pray more divine appointments would be prepared for us!

Mumbai!!

We have had quite the adventure here so far: our housing plans fell through the night before we flew out and so we arrived in Mumbai, driving through the city during sunrise, to stay at a cheap hotel until we found more permanent housing. We found an apartment to rent, spent an afternoon cleaning it (and it was filthy!), only to have our plans thwarted once more and we were back to the hotel for another night. So, on what was Thanksgiving day for those in the US, I was lugging a 38lb backpack, coat, fur boots and wearing a punjabi on a train in 90 degree heat with our team to stay in a Salvation Army hostel. We were quite the spectacle for all the locals. Needless to say, those first couple days were crazy, trying to figure out housing and just get settled somewhere. We are finding this saying quite true: "Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be broken." The ten of us are now settled in a 10-bunk room with one bathroom...and I thought our living quarters on family vacations was small. It's actually quite fun and cozy and I like staying in a hostel better than in an apartment; there are so many interesting people to meet here. We're staying in the more touristy part of Mumbai on the coast with beautiful English architecture; this is one of the nicest areas in the city.

India is hot, humid, and I've felt many a time that I'm about to meet Jesus when crossing the streets here due to the absolutely insane driving. Everyone is alive and doing well, minus a couple bugs bites and heat rash. India smells like incense, body odor, garlic, putrid trash, spicy soap, smog, rotten fish, and other smells I can't quite identify nor do I wish to know. The city is so busy: we were in a mall a couple days ago and I realized that despite the masses of people there on a weekend afternoon, that environment was peaceful compared to the streets. Never before have I thought I would consider weekend holiday shopping madness as peaceful. Ha.  Some staple items don't seem to be as valued here as they do in the US; the most valuable items in my purse right now are bottled water, toilet paper, and hand sanitizer.

We prayer-walked through Kmathi Pura, Asia's largest red light district, this weekend and on Sunday we visited/spoke at two churches, one Nepalese, and spent the afternoon with a lovely family in their home. Yesterday we went to one of Mother Teresa's homes for the sick and disabled. Yes, it is distressing to see so many suffering and dying people, but it was equally heartwarming as it was hard to be there. Many of them seemed so happy and loved that we were there. It was easier to be with the special needs children since they were young and smiling and we could interact more and play with them. I just keep telling myself that my faith is based on who I know, and not what I see around me. My faith is based on a relationship, and not circumstances.

Today most of our team went to a daycare in an incredibly poor neighborhood, a slum. Like typical children, they loved songs, coloring, and particularly loved us to take pictures of them. I was filthy by the time we left, but my goodness, the love I gave and also received from them was worth it. They called us "deedee,"older sister, and gave so many hugs and kisses to us all, that it was difficult to leave them. I told every girl I could that she was lovely and pretty, and how precious and special she is. These kids are beautiful and I only wonder what their future will be. Loving these kids is the best form of trafficking prevention.

I'm sorry this post is short, contains choppy thoughts and is sporadic, but my time here on the internet is limited. I will try to post again before we leave for Nepal on Monday.

Here we go!

Our room looks like a bomb went off. (That's me and my roommates: Hope, Abbey, me, and Cathy.) With a smokey haze from incense and our belongings thrown about the room on the floor, in piles, and halfway in suitcases,  it truly does look like someone threw a bomb in and ran from the imminent disaster. Trying to fit my life for 50 days of both sticky hot and frigid cold all into a trekking backpack seems close to impossible, but it's forcing me to learn the essential life skill of packing lightly. Very lightly. (Dad, you'd be quite proud.) :)

I'd like to say I'm still in denial of leaving, but that packing mess tells me otherwise. We fly out tomorrow morning for Mumbai, leaving our base around 7am. With the time changes, it will feel as though we've traveled two solid days before we land in India. I'm not really nervous; I'm just excited and expectant. Leaving this base is going to be incredibly hard. Granted, we'll be back for a week to debrief in January, but it won't be the same. I'm actually going to miss some aspects of living in this neighborhood. Yes, it is full of drugs, violence, and prostitution--it's earned its label of the 3rd worst neighborhood in the US--but God is here and pockets of His light are present. I'm going to dearly miss the staff here at YWAM. I'm going to miss The Beat, our "second home," the coffeeshop on Fremont that we haunted every weekend. I will miss the Dream Center, the church one block from the YWAM base that most of us attended every Sunday. Today was especially meaningful since not only was it our day there, but Cathy--one of the students--danced and the entire church prayed over us, sending us out.  That church is seriously anointed.

So, on our last day together as one big happy dysfunctional family, Sean makes funnel cakes, laundry is washing, rooms look like they exploded, last dance parties occur, and we cook stir fry for a "family dinner." All of us have grown and learned so much these last 4 months, but we're ready to put into practice all that we've learned. We've found true love here in Las Vegas in a neighborhood full of desperation and poverty. We're finding love in hopeless places.  This is love:

 

Do It Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.  Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” 

Joshua 1:8-9

Love recklessly.

We're back from California! After stopping at 6 churches and 3 colleges in 5 days, we arrived back to Las Vegas Friday evening. Each student spoke at least once or twice on their personal testimony, DTS experience, or on human trafficking. I spoke on the latter two.  On Thursday, the last day of our tour, I had been awake since 5am, was sick with a cold, energy levels were low, and I had to speak that night on human trafficking to a church college group. As much as I love public speaking, right before our presentation began I would have just rather crawled in a corner and slept than have to get up in front of a crowd and speak. However, my talk went just fine and I didn't have a sneezing fit. I think my message is one that everyone should hear so I'm including it below. By no means am I boasting. I definitely believe it was God that gave me this message. I know it's rather long, but I encourage you to read it in its entirety.

I spoke off an outline so I don't have the exact transcript, but this is quite similar to my presentation:

"Just what is human trafficking? It is modern-day slavery. When you hear of human trafficking, you only need to remember one word: slavery. There are two types: sex and labor. Sex trafficking is rather obvious: exploiting a person for their use as a sex object and is the type I will focus on tonight. Labor trafficking can occur in a private home or could be the use of someone for agricultural labor. Human trafficking is the fastest growing form of organized crime, and it is not an issue that just occurs in an obscure African nation or in a popular sex tourism country such as Thailand. It happens in your own town, whether you see it or not. 

To give an image of the depth of this problem, here are some statistics: 400 minors were rescued from prostitution in Las Vegas last year, and though that sounds like a high number, there are so many more children that are still trafficked. The average age into prostitution is 13-14 years old, and if that sounds young, which it is, there have been documented cases of  kids young as 3 year old trafficked in the US.

So who are the most vulnerable to the traffickers and pimps? Runaways, those from broken an abusive homes, backgrounds of poverty, and kids with extremely low self-esteem are most at risk. The pimp controls the girls he prostitutes psychologically and physically through beatings, rape, starvation and sleep deprivation. He controls everything in her life. A pimp will often lure a young girl through the "boyfriend" set up: he lavishes her with attention and affection that she is not receiving at home, luring her farther into the relationship through emotional control and then prostituting her out, first to his friends and then to anyone who will pay.

Why is sexual exploitation still such a problem? If I were to ask any of you, or if we were to go on the street and ask anyone we passed if they thought human trafficking is a good thing, I can almost guarantee you that they will all respond that it is horrific and is indeed a problem. So why is there still a demand for prostitutes; why is sex tourism so profitable? The United States, out of almost 200 countries, drives 25%, one-fourth, of the entire world's sex tourism. We could give the nice Sunday-school answer and say sin is the reason for this issue. Though that is completely true, let's break it down and look closer at specific reasons.  Let's look at our culture and see what is our image of women: are women not often portrayed as mere sex objects? Women are degraded through media: music, TV and pornography. So much popular music cheapens sex and relationships, glamorizes the pimp culture, and encourages sex before marriage, which is clearly wrong. Porn is almost always the beginning of this issue: a man does not randomly decide to purchase sexual services from a prostitute. No, it begins in his thought life. All of us, both men and women, have to examine our thoughts and strive for pure hearts. God commands us to be holy because He is holy. We should strive towards this not because of fear, but out of love for Him. Thoughts lead to actions. The London School of Economics estimates that 9 out of 10 kids aged 8-16 have viewed porn at least once online, intentionally or not. Just how many of these kids are going to become addicted and continue to view porn for years to come? How is this going to affect their spouses, kids, and society as a whole? Porn cannot be a separate issue from sex trafficking. Many of the girls and women in porn are themselves trafficked. To address human trafficking, Christians have to quit being part of the demand.

Besides our society's views of women, there is another root cause of human trafficking, and that is a love deficit. Everyone involved, the prostitute, pimp, and john are searching for love and this is how they are dealing with their hurts. They all hold broken images of relationships. The ultimate source of love is, of course, Jesus. He is the only one that can fill that love deficit and change hearts. We cannot come down with a case of the "Messiah complex" and think that we can change the world and stop trafficking on our own. It's an easy mentality to fall into because we're young and I know that every one of you has an issue you're passionate about, and you just want to finish school and get out in the world to just do something about it. We have to love not just the prostituted woman, but also her pimp and the man who buys her for a half-hour of pleasure. If these men do not receive love, they will continue seeking it through sex and so sex trafficking will continue to thrive. Why should we love these men? They don't deserve God, His love, or eternal life. But, we have to remember that God deserves him. The man who travels to Thailand to have sex with a five year old may not be worthy of God, but God is worthy of him. Jesus died for every single pimp and every single john. Jesus said that He came for the sick and the lost, the desperate. If we don't love these men with God's love, we aren't stopping the demand for sex trafficking.

The only way to love like this is from an overflow of God's love. You need to know that you are unconditionally loved by God. He is pursuing your heart. Each of you were made for an intimate relationship with God. If you don't believe me, go pick up a Bible and read Isaiah, the Gospels, or Hosea: His love is evident in every book of the Bible.  No amount of money can buy any of you. Each of you are priceless, and each of you are loved. Every one of you are beautiful because you were created by God and in His image. If anyone--guy or girl--tells you otherwise, they lie. God wants all of you and He is not going to relent until He has your whole heart.

One last thought before I end: though intimacy with God is the answer and Jesus' love is the only love that fills the void, we are also called to act on behalf of the fatherless, the needy, and the oppressed. We tend to be content in our Christian subculture of church, Bible study, small groups and Christian friends. All of these are good and are necessary, but we cannot always remain within this bubble. True worship means getting our hands dirty. If Jesus hung out with prostitutes, we certainly can, too. Love those who are inconvenient to love. Intentionally find ways to love those who are hurting, need a friend, or are lonely. Love recklessly! Don't underestimate the power of God's love: it will change the world.

Pursue God. Love Him, love others, and keep it in that order."

Road Trippin'

 The team is California-bound tomorrow morning!

We are traveling to several cities in CA to promote YWAM Las Vegas, next year's Abolitionist DTS, and to educate churches and universities about human trafficking. All of the students will make presentations on their personal testimony, human trafficking, and their DTS experience. I will be speaking on the latter two. We will not have internet access during our trip, but I will post an update when we return next weekend.

So...please pray for our trip, for safe travels for all of us and patience with each other as we will be riding in two fifteen-passenger vans and living in even smaller quarters than we do now. Pray we remain unified and don't allow petty arguments to erupt, especially since we leave for outreach in just 2 weeks. 

Weeks 1-12

I realize that I have not done the greatest job of consistently posting updates. I also realize that I haven't truly shared all that God has been doing in my life these last 12 weeks. Granted, it's rather difficult to fully explain what I have been going through, but perhaps this list--very condensed--will give a better picture of my discipleship training school experience. From week 1, I kept a piece of paper in my Bible and made notes--just brief phrases--of what God was teaching me. The topic of the week's lectures may or may not correspond with everything God was teaching me that week. It's personal, yes, but all the more real. I don't mind sharing.

Themes from my DTS: Weeks 1-12

Week 1: Orientation and Intro to Trafficking

-Freedom in Christ: leaving my comfort zone behind to run with God

-God brought me to the desert to romance me, as in Hosea

-Brokenness, forgiveness, and healing

-Determining to seek God with my whole heart

Week 2: Hearing God's Voice

-Hearing and then obeying God's voice

-Faith vs doubt struggle

-God breaking me and cleaning out my heart

Week 3: Father Heart of God

-Giving up my pride and own dreams and ideas for my future

-God is not content without us:  we have ravished His heart!

-Frustration in trying to hear more from God

-Realization of my dependence on other's approval

Week 4: Forgiveness and Repentance

-Forgiving people in my life and making amends

-God showing Himself as my Deliver

-I am set apart, a special treasure with a holy calling from God

Week 5: Identity

-Resurrection of dreams and birth of new ideas for my future!

Week 6: Holy Spirit

-Bolding speaking truth: making the comfortable uncomfortable

-Desiring the gifts of wisdom and discernment

Week 7: Intimacy to Advocacy

-Desiring more joy in my life

-Refusal to be fearful regarding my future

-Love for the johns

Week 8: Bible Study

-God's greatness and unsearchable knowledge: He is a God of wonders!

-Learning to just be still with God, listening and learning rather than planning and doing: Being a Mary, not a Martha!

Week 9: Missions

-Refusing to plan and remaining open to whatever God wants to impress upon me

-Taking every thought captive!

Week 10: Sex and Relationships

-Reflections on the past year and the redemption and love received from God in fully returning to Him

-Identifying sources of struggles and insecurities

-Praying and living in greater faith and confidence

Week 11: Discipleship

-Desire to disciple others and share all that I've been learning

-Spirit of thankfulness

-Pure heart

-My identity is not as a sinner but as a pure and beloved daughter of God

Weeks 12:  Evangelism

-Desiring more of God, constantly craving more of Him

-Embracing who I am in my new identity

-Love for God=obedience to God's commands 

So, tomorrow starts the last "normal" week of lectures here: our lecture phase is almost over. On Saturday, we will be leaving for a week-long road trip to various cities in California to promote the Las Vegas YWAM base and to educate churches and universities on human trafficking in the US and in Vegas.  When we come back from CA, we have one more week here in Vegas to wrap up and get ready to leave for outreach. If you do the math correctly, that means we leave for Mumbai, India, three weeks from tomorrow!!!  

She's Somebody's Baby

I have never been called “mommy” by little girls until tonight.

This evening we did door-to-door outreach in groups of four just two blocks from our base, talking with people, asking if they had a church, offering to pray with them, etc.  We spoke with a woman, Daphne, at the very first house we approached and learned that her oldest daughter had run away. She had not heard from her daughter Shaquita since Monday.  Shaquita is only 14 years old, the average age for girls entering prostitution.  It sounds like the classic trafficking scenario.  My heart broke for both Daphne and her daughter. Her mother wanted her back. She was missed.  Shaquita—whether she is by herself or under the control of a boyfriend/pimp-- is somebody’s baby.

A few doors down, we came upon a group of about 10 girls, about 8-10 years old, playing in the driveway, climbing a wall, dancing, and just being crazy like little girls ought to be.  Hope and I began conversation with them and they were eager to make friends with us. They wanted us to watch them rap, dance, do splits, and play with them.  They just wanted attention and love. Hope and I were mobbed by a dozen little bodies all vying for our attention. After knowing them about 60 seconds, they were clinging to us. I don’t mean that they gave us a hug, or were holding our hands. I think they attached themselves with super/non-removable glue.  

“Will you hug me? Will you pick me up?” Will you pick me up and swing me?”

Ok, sure. I can do that. No problem. I love kids and though perhaps it’s not the most appropriate to be picking up an eight year old you just met, I did it anyways, because I could tell they desperately needed love and affection.  As I spun one precious curly-haired girl around and around until she was squealing and I sufficiently dizzy, I said “You are a beautiful girl!”

Her face glowed from that one compliment. Oh, God, please guard her and all the girls in this neighborhood from false love, from older boys and men that may come around to prey on these girls and in just a couple years lure them with false affection resulting in abuse and/or prostituting them. Not to sounds cynical, but that scenario is incredibly likely based on their situation and the statistics.

Then came the hardest request.

“Will you be my mommy? Can you be my sister? Please don’t leave me! I don’t want you to go.”

Oh. My. Word.  I wanted to cry.  They didn’t even wait for us to answer, but clung to us more, tugging on us to play and watch them, calling me their mommy.  More than anything else they could have told me, calling me their mommy revealed how desperate they were for a strong maternal figure. They did have mothers:  Daphne whom we met earlier was the mother of two of the girls, and the rest of the girls pointed out their nearby homes so that we could come back to visit them. 

Leaving them was so difficult. We had to pry them off of us, and tell them that we would come back.  As we left, we asked if they knew who Jesus was.

“You mean Jesus Christ? Oh yeah! He’s my father!”

I told that girl to always remember that no matter what, Jesus is her daddy and always will be. I am so thankful that they at least had some head-knowledge of God, considering that most of them did not have father-figures.  We learned that some of them had been to the church we attend, so leaving was slightly easier knowing that we might see them there. 

Turning around and walking down the sidewalk, hearing little voices pleading, “Please don’t leave! Don’t go! Mommy, come back!” may be one of the most gut-wrenching experiences.  I didn’t want to leave them so soon, but we had a time limit and I told them I would be back. I will indeed be back to visit them. I want to speak truth into them, to give them attention they desperately need, and to just love them. I know that they are in God’s hands and that we should not feel unduly burdened by them.  If I develop a case of the “Messiah Complex,” attempting to take on responsibility that is not mine to hold, I will burn out and I will fail.

These girls were so full of joy and innocence: I want them to stay that way, just as they are. I couldn't help but think of Shaquita, and wonder how many of these girls would find themselves in her situation.   Each of these precious girls is somebody's baby, no matter what path their life takes: homelessness, drugs, prostitution, or perhaps college and marriage. They will always be God's baby girls. 

“She’s somebody’s baby, she’s somebody’s baby girl and she’s somebody’s baby still.”